There are six of us. Our parents were really into free love. What they didn’t count on was that it wouldn’t be free in the end. Kids are expensive business, and the more you have, the more expensive they are. But our folks wanted a beautiful love child, and they just kept trying until they got it right. No joke. The younger kids are the best looking. Robyn, she’s beautiful. I’m biased, but all you have to do is look at her to know I’m right. J.J.’s not hard on the eyes, either. But like I said, the kids got better looking with each effort.
I guess I’ve never much cared for the idea of having a brood of my own because I feel like I already raised one. As the oldest–eldest, which one’s right?–I was always supervising the other kids. Except for Robyn. She was never supervised, never disciplined. She was the baby of the family and the only girl, so we all spoiled her. She got anything and everything she wanted. And since she has five older brothers who are all really big guys, nobody ever messed with her. It’s damn surprising she turned out to be so unselfish, so good-hearted. She’s got a houseful of decrepit dogs and cats she adopted ’cause nobody else would. If they’re one step from execution, Robyn will fall in love with them! She’ll be a great mom one day.
She gave me the bird. (No, not that bird–though she’s also given me that one on ooccasion!) One of her adoptees is a cockatoo with a foul mouth. Used to belong to a madam. You can imagine what his vocabulary’s like. My kind of bird.
I guess I’ll always feel protective of her. Robyn, I mean. So when she brings home this guy she met at the shelter, I was suspicious right off. So what if he’s good-looking and talented and all? He’s obviously not earning a living, right? But then I see them together, and try as he does to keep her at a safe distance, I can see he’s fallen under her spell, just like the rest of us. He might as well just give up and marry her. Robyn’s made up her mind. Alex is the one she wants, and she ain’t giving up until she’s got a ring on her finger and he’s got one in his nose. (She’ll kill me for that one.)
I told him as much. He thinks he’s doing what’s best for her. Not sure where that’s coming from. He seems like a decent guy. And the animals all like him. That’s a good sign. They’re never wrong.
She’s frustrated. For the first time, she’s at a loss. Doesn’t know what to do. I tell her to go buy a box of condoms and get that boy into bed. She acted appalled by the suggestion, but I know she’s been trying. I walked in on them the other night, and there was no mistaking what she was up to. She looked at me like she could kill me for interrupting. Hey, the door wasn’t locked!
I’ll bet it will be next time….
(Author’s Note: Yep, I’m a wrestling fan. I see Triple H as Robyn’s eldest brother. He may not have gotten the lead in Thor, but he’s got two new movies coming out soon)